What was that sound, you ask? Chad Henne's Alka Seltzer boner is curing your morning hangover! Get ready for a little bit of the old Fizzy-Good Make-Feel-Nice (wink) as Chad Henne Presents Chad Henne's Luscious Lady of the DAY!!!
Today:
Helen of Troy
Where You've Seen Her, Besides Wet Dreams:
Sparta, Troy
Rating:
0/5 Alka Seltzer boners
Readers, Chad Henne here. Now, I thought I would do something special for the last entry of Chad Henne Presents "Chad Henne Presents Chad Henne's Luscious Lady of the Week" Week, not so much because I respect you in any way, but because I need some primo Chad spankbank material to tide me over until the next Luscious Lady. And I had been hearing a lot of buzz about this Helen bimbo, like on that fucker Trebek's show, WHICH IS CLEARLY RIGGED BECAUSE I'VE NEVER WON IT, but come on, look at that damn picture. Ugh. She's complaining IN THE PICTURE! And it's a goddamn picture, a static image, AND YET IT SOMEHOW CAPTURES SUCH A REPUGNANT REPRESENTATION OF A BITCH STEPPING OUT OF LINE THAT MY MIGHTY MAN MAST HAS ALL BUT WILTED AND DIED LIKE A SAD LITTLE---
Hang on, what's this? This must be the real Helen of Troy! From the movie Troy, you say? I don't care, this is the one that matters! I would revise my previous rating except I DON'T BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES! Still, take comfort in knowing, Helen, that my Lunchables Supreme salutes you. My WMD is fully armed once more. Readers, I think we've learned something valuable today. And that is that Ancient Greece can go fuck itself, and Hollywood is where the truly great literature comes from. USA! USA! USA! USA!
Dear Chad,
ReplyDeleteDiane Kruger is German.