Dear Fuckers:
I hope you bastards are having fun. Two days ago, I was on top of the goddamn world. I have a hot wife, I just won Rachael Ray's Third Annual Superbowl Recipeoff, and I'm the greatest quarterback in the NFL. Prospectively.
Anyways, my agent walks in, and tells me there's a new website about me. Self, I tell myself, that sounds pretty damn sweet. That sounds like the complete shit tits. In a word, great.
I was sorely disappointed. To say the least.
Imagine my anger when instead of a great page of photos and stats, I find a freaking circle jerk. All that's on this stupid blog is a bunch of bullshit "articles" that are utterly fabricated. Some of them even pretend to be me. Which I sort of get, actually.
I digress. Fuck all of you.
What's with all the bizarre homo-erotic shit on this blog? Unbelievable. If you want to see the Hanging Chad, I'll give you a real close look when I slap you in the face with it. I hate all of you.
And another thing: you couldn't fuck afford 5 bucks a year at goddamn GoDaddy? Really? This supposedly "best" Chad Henne blog is on fucking blogspot? If you don't stop this idiocy, I will sue everyone involved with this blog, your entire team of inbred moron writers that like to pretend they're me. And then I'll kick all of your asses.
Fuck you all,
Chad Henne
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